The Turkey and Swiss on Rye Incident

Nothing like a good passive aggressive note war between coworkers. This time, it was over the delicious turkey and swiss with mayo on rye sandwiches that came up missing out of the refrigerator. Only a madman could be behind such a deed.

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It started out well enough. Many people will steal a coworker’s sandwich out of the fridge, and a note like this is left to ask the thief to stop. They probably didn’t think it would get so out of hand.

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This note left by the thief really took some nerve. Not only did he take the sandwich, but now he wants a ransom! “You’ll never see it undigested again.” sounds ominous on a few different levels…

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The rightful owners threatens to get HR involved. The thief is now taunting with photos of the sandwich. How do they have so much time in this office to screw around?

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This is serious now — Tina from HR is now on the case. Stealing someone’s sandwich is a serious matter. He needs his energy so he can work.

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As if the bites of the sandwich weren’t enough, the thief now wants pizza in return for the sandwich. Why can’t he just buy his own pizza? Are they not paying him enough so he can’t even buy a personal pan pizza?

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After the refusal of the pizza, the thief gets truly awful. He’s just going to waste the sandwich. He doesn’t seem very hungry if he’s willing to just spit it out.

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Okay, this is getting really weird. The thief waxes philosophic over the hunger of society symbolized in this sandwich. T-Swizzle has had enough.

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The thief has been identified thanks to Tina from HR. He has been unmasked like a Scooby Doo villain. Like all villains, he now has no choice but to give up.

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Nice try, Francis. Your sandwich stealing days are over! Now you can only beg to keep your job.





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